‘The Friend Zone’

There are times when I wonder what exactly this ‘zone’ is ….

We’re friends right? Or are we more?  Am I like a brother?

What exactly would you call me if your mother asked honestly…?

There are the days when you’re cooking for me, and concerned if I actually like your cooking,

The times when we can talk for hours on end, about our dreams and the future and what things will end up like for us.

And then there are days when you’re actively ignoring me…

There are days when you’re all up and into him, and there are the other days when it’s me you can’t seem to be without.

I find it so hard to get things in the right perspective.

I know I haven’t made my intentions explicitly known.

And you can’t blame me for that.

I’m scared.

Scared that it’s going to be him and not me.

Scared that you’ll decide that I was merely a fling – or worse, a ‘bestie’

Scared that after all this…. After my heart has fallen so hopelessly and so desperately in love with you, that you’re going to say that we never really had a future.

Naana… you’re one of the few ladies I know that has a sensible outlook and opinion about life.

This is to let you know my intentions.

I’m not a coward. I’m not sending you this so I don’t have to face the answer.

I’m sending this because I know that my presence or absence will not make much of a difference in your decision. So here goes:

I’m in love with you. I’m in love with your attitude to life, and your strong opinions. I’m in love with the way you say my name, and your ability to hold back your laughter and postpone it for a later, more ‘appropriate time.’Even your random mood swings tug at my heart… well, sometimes. I fall in love with you more every time I hear you say “Uncle Dzaarling” in that way that only you can say it. I would love it if you would consider spending the rest of your life with me. I would be thrilled!

As you already know, I don’t believe in ‘experimental dating’. This is the real deal to me. This is the prelude to getting on one knee and saying please be my wife.

I don’t want you to feel cornered in making your decision – not that I think you will. But I just want you to know that whatever it is you decide, I hope things remain the same. I hope we can continue to aggressively tease each other. I hope we can still laugh so hard that the professors ask us to get a grip! I hope we can talk about your stupid other crushes, and how your infatuations can literally last seconds! But hey, most of all, I hope you don’t stop cooking for me.

But if things do change… If we ever grow distant,

If we lose the bond that’s kept us me happy for the past three years,

If for some reason, you can never get back to calling me ‘uncle dzaaarling’

Just know that no matter what happens… no matter how long it takes… no matter who I fall in love with (If at all I do) or who I end up making a family with, you’ll always be that one.

That one girl that made me realise that happiness can happen every single day. That made me realise that love is truly a beautiful thing.

You’re an awesome person. Inside and out. I realise I’ve never said any of this to you before. You’re my muse. You trigger so many sentiments in me. You make me happy, and I love you.

Ebow

It’s been a while. This letter is dedicated to the few who truly understand 😀

It’s based on a true life story.