Sayo VI
It’s been so long since I was this happy, and I keep thinking that there must be something going to happen – when will the other boot fall? I heard myself laugh the other day – genuine laughter that wasn’t made up, and it startled me.
It’s been so long since I was this happy, and I keep thinking that there must be something going to happen – when will the other boot fall? I heard myself laugh the other day – genuine laughter that wasn’t made up, and it startled me.
It was a place where, even at her lowest, she’d been held, loved, and given space to begin to find her way back to herself. Their packed suitcases reminded her of the life still waiting for her, of this beautiful young man who refused to let her go, and of her own strength, which hadn’t left her even when she thought it had.
Who was this human that was so heavily dependent on her? And why? Didn’t he know that she wasn’t reliable?
What was it she was supposed to do again? Breathe. Count. Crouch down, head between knees. She could hear Dr. V’s voice, but it wasn’t registering. Her head was spinning, and she was breathing way faster than she knew she should. She just wanted to get home
“… I wanted a good life for myself and this baby. And now I’m going to die.”
“And I know you must think I’m stupid, or that I’m a homewrecker. I have tried to put him out of my mind. I have tried to forget him. I have even tried to hate him so that maybe it’ll all just go away. I can’t.”
That evening, I saw his red-hot anger, and for some reason, that pacified me and made the whole experience worth it.
Kwesi was a beautiful black baby right on that first day. He was also a happy baby.
In my small mind, Nana was the only one who loved me. Oh, how she loved me!
Some people are generally put together, no matter what. The kind that can sit in a storm, as though they were having a tea party. Sayo was one of those…