Dear Future Husband,
This week I’ve had so much to think about, so much going on in my already hyperactive brain.
I think that this might be my last letter… And that’s really one big problem with me; sticking to a course is so hard. I don’t know whether it’s boredom or laziness or just plain old tiredness. Maybe my obsession with Paapa, singleness and marriage has waned? (Praise the Lord!). We probably all have those phases when we’re ready for God to bring that person and super ready to be in a relationship… Well lately, I’ve just been meh about it. I think it’s the books I started reading. I’ve come to realise that there’s really a lot more at stake where relationships are concerned. And honestly seeing where I’m at in life now, I know I need time.
I know God is working on me and preparing me so that I’m not just some average woman when we do meet – I hope you do not settle for average. Because hey, life is short, and if you only live once, you can’t live average right?😌
So I’m not going to settle on being an average person, I hope you don’t either. And I hope that you don’t plan to give average love… because I can’t have that. I don’t want mediocre love. I don’t want to be kept wondering. I don’t want the kind of love that ‘other couples have.’
I’m a very different girl – and though that may not always be a good thing, it means that I hardly want what everyone wants. Of course there are the basic things that I want too – your love, your attention, complete peace of mind, etc.
This week, I had a conversation with a friend. A Ghanaian girl too. I don’t remember how the conversation got to talking about money, and men, and different roles we play. Apparently there’s a general mentality that in a marriage, “a woman’s money is hers, and a man’s money is theirs”? 😂🤣😂🤣Honestly it came as a bit of a surprise to me… but apparently it works for many people!
I realised somewhere in the first year of undergrad, that I’m repelled by rich boys… (that’s a long story for another day) So much as I want you to be a self-sufficient, responsible and hardworking young man, I hope that you don’t have the kind of money that somehow makes you think that the world revolves around you. (Like, what am I supposed to get you on your birthday if you have so much money that you don’t know what to do with it?) And just so you know, I don’t ascribe to that thinking. I think that if we’re going to be in this together, we’re going to decide how things work, and who pays what. There’s a high likelihood that I might earn a lot more than you,😂😌😶 and I really hope that you’re not the kind of guy that will have a problem with that.
Anyways, let me stop digressing. The plan today was to talk about family. I come from an amazing family. I think that God was very very generous when he gave me my family. And I understand that our families will be from different backgrounds, with different kinds of experiences, etc. but once we decide to be together, we’ll be merging all of that… and I’ve seen first-hand how explosive that can be! Marriage won’t just be between us especially if you come from my Ghanaian culture; it is considered a merging of the two families. One thing I pray for is that our families will get along; that they can co-exist peacefully, and not only co-exist, but love each other! I pray that we can all have fun together, laugh together, pray together; be one and treat each other as Christ would have us treat each other. I clearly don’t know if we’ll be best friends but I hope at least that we’ll love one another.
Inasmuch as they may mean well for us, can we leave them out of our business? Can we not live with them? At least till we’ve built up our own family? I don’t mind visits, but can they remain visits? Can we keep them out of our challenges? Because of course they’ll take sides! And even when we’ve sorted out our issues, they won’t forget…
This is my prayer, that my in-laws will be like second parents to me. Because I want my children to know and love them fully without reservations. I pray you’re praying for the same. I know my family’s opinions really matter to me so I pray that they fall in love with you too, and treat you like a son/brother!
I’d like to believe that at some point, you’ll show up. And although the wait feels long, (especially this Christmas when couples are running around throwing snowballs at each other), I know that you’re working on yourself, just as I’m working on me!
So can you surface soon?!
PS. I’m gonna keep my promise of sticking to writing you these letters, till the month is out!